Karma!

One of the most often used word in an Indian household is 'Karma'. It is a word we use very casually. An ice cream melts in our hand before we lick it... many say it is karma (i mean whattttt is that!) any difficult  experiences that we go through (like tolerating a team mate, a boss or answering your little one) we blame it all on karma. This current situation that we are in, if we sneeze it is blamed on karma, sigh! This got me thinking... 

What is karma?

How is karma determined? 

Is there a way to change it?

I am Blessed with a Living Guru and very thankful to Him for His knowledge. Salutations to Him _/\_. My understanding from His teaching....

What is Karma?

Karma is the Vasana or the energy carried by the soul. It is the culmination of all the experiences lived by the soul until a moment in this universe. In Hinduism, we believe the God of death, Yamraj, maintains an account for each soul. All the good and bad is weighed and paves the way to our afterlife in heaven or hell. Vasana is nothing but acts done by a person across several life time.

Inference?? Okay I don't know if Chitraguptha and Yamraj are fantasies or realities, but i do believe the good and bad we do becomes ours to carry forever. Yes, I also believe in the concept of body and soul, in soul taking different forms and that the soul is the one eternal truth.

How is Karma determined?

Karma is determined more by the intention than the action of the individual. There are times we are hard on our children to make them better people... accumulating good karma. There are times when we need to stand up for right even if it hurts people because it is the right way... accumulating good karma. Action is very important but when there is a conflict between the action and the intention, it is the intension the decides ones karma.

Is there a way to change Karma?

There is no escape from Karma. Several religion say, live as if some one is watching you always. Why did they say that? Karma keeps ticking with every thought, action and inaction of ours. Once we attract a good karma it stays with us forever and once we attract a bad karma it stays with us forever. There is no tallying of the debits and credits. Just like how one will enjoy the benefits of good karma, one has to go through the hardship of bad karma. We in our individual capacity have no control over our Karma once we attract it.

The only thing in this whole universe that can protect us from bad karma is Guru’s love. A Guru has the potency to alter the Karma of an individual. He has the ability to absorb our bad karma and replace it with His good Karma. He, in His benevolence, has the power to bestow upon us His grace and protect us with His energy. Why does He have this ability? A Guru's love is infinite and it is from this love, His ability stems. The act of replacing a disciple's bad karma with His good karma, is the greatest of all giving, it is one of the greatest act of selflessness from a Guru.  This is one of the several reasons, why a Guru is worshiped before God in Hinduism. 

Karma is a very potent thing, we may be casual about it in our talks, let us not be casual in our acts. Let us always intend and act with positivity, love and betterment in our hearts.

My small wish for all of you....

May the seeker in you be awakened,

May the grace of the Guru find and touch you,

May you surrender yourself to Him,

May He carry you in life... 

May you experience Miracles of Faith!!!

May you experience the magic of Guru's love.. may all the good Karma be yours!

Back after a break

Lock down time, Sunday time, husband at home...could snatch some 'alone' time with my laptop. These last few months for me have been an overload of information from all forms of media. 

As a result i just wanted to retreat into a cocoon. It so happened while I was browsing, this blog of mine came up... started reading the posts and it got me wondering. 

It was as if I was connecting to a different me. They say time heals, time changes things, time is irreversible.... i would like to add that time creates!!!!

From a bubbly, expressive, excited girl (excitement for things as simple as eating an ice cream before it melts), time has created me into a bubbly, excited, mature adult,

From a spontaneous, extroverted writer, time has created me into a writer with some thinking (i still do some random writing),

From a wife, time has and is creating me into a better half (i like to believe i have become more understanding),

From a jolly office goer, time has created me into a responsible multitasker (mother of two.. should i say anything more :P),

From a life partner, time has created me into a mother.

Time has gifted me mother hood,

Time has gifted me knowledge,

Time has gifted me wealth,

Time has gifted me relationships,

Time has gifted me a Guru,

Time has gifted me a better understanding of life

Time has gifted me a better me....

Today 'time' seems to be in a stand still, beckoning us, calling out to us, crying to us, begging us to use it efficiently. We never had so much of 'time' before.. be it family time, alone time, work time, social time... suddenly we seem to have a lot of time at our disposal. Now the question is what are we doing about it? Everything around us has undergone a dramatic change in a very short span, what are we doing about it..

Are we even aware of it?

Are we realising it? 

Are we adapting to it? 

Are we making the necessary changes or are we still stuck in our head and calling this a 'phase'.

As i write this, i am still trying to comprehend the reality i am surrounded with, trying to accept the new normal and making the most of it. This post after a looong hibernation is my attempt to 'use' the time better.

What is yours going to be?

Random thoughts

Sitting in the lap of sophistication,
Staring into a PowerPoint presentation,
I wonder what is the stage of my stagnation 
Is it due to sleep deprivation?
Oh, my mind has reached its saturation.

I shake myself into concentration,
Why do people love communication?
They keep reiterating trivial variations,
Their incessant talk pushes me to frustration.

I look for a mode of transportation,
That can take me to the land of meditation,
I wish I could escape from this thought destitution,
Drown myself into some music from a radio station,
My only hope for some relaxation.

Alas, I look at my location,
I am in a workshop with a limitation,
I focus on the voice with sweet connotation,
Will the blabbering ever have a direction?

Scribbling away my imagination,
Oblivious to my current situation,
Inviting stares from all direction,
Oops, I am the centre of attraction,

Smells from the kitchen tickle my sensation,
Dreamy is my state of realisation,
Thoughts of the yonder beckon my attention,
Its time to bid adieu to this rendition,
My Random Thoughts collection..

a promise 5 year old

On a similar weekend 5 years ago came together two strangers into the bond of matrimony and life has been ever since...!

Ah, 5 years ago and it just seems like yesterday. Time has flown, I have grown, things around have changed yet it just seems like yesterday. Finding a match for me was never an easy task and my fickle minded decision making process only made things worse. One thing arranged marriage has taught me (even before I got married) was to be strong with your decisions and hold on to it all cost. In the midst of few very sorry moments came this match, a photo of a chubby guy wearing a t shirt that said "New York" (he still has the t shirt, I want to believe he loves to cherish it :p). Working in a company called Telcordia with a degree in MSC Software Engineering, I still don't understand how i gave a go ahead on this. You see I was looking at guys only with a professional qualification and MSc with my exposure at that age did not qualify, yet I went ahead thanks to the horoscope matching priest who said that this sambandham is to die for! Today, I thank my lucky stars for having said yes to meet the guy.

We met in the temple my favourite Parthasarthy temple, this guy came dressed in formals with neatly tucked in shirt. First look it took my breath away, the guy in the photo and the guy I was seeing were totally different and I liked the version I was seeing better, he had lost 10 kgs and was looking way toooo smart. If looks could kill (in a nice way) I was totally bowled over. To move on to how I looked, I was dressed in a fab india kurtha, pant and dupatta all of which together costed around 3K, wonder why I am talking about the cost.. you see my husband tells me it looked like pichakara dress (wonder why he still said yes) though I believed it to be well groomed professional way of meeting the guy. Introductions happened and we moved on to get a darshan of Govinda and all the while, I , was the only one stealing secret glimpses while he was totally focused on the conversations he was having with my dad. Another bowled over moment, it was big deal to me then that a guy would not give me a second look back then and this qualified him to the status of a gentleman.

We moved on and the families decided to allow us to talk. We went around the temple and the guy did a lot of serious talking, to be honest I dont remember any of it, but i do remember nodding and listening to most of it. He could communicate really well and I was so totally impressed that all I could do was simply listen and stare at him (I still do it most of the time, in my house the husband runs the show you see:D). Of course in the midst of all this I did my share to impress him and knowing the temple so well I did play a role of a gracious host. Later after becoming husband and wife when I casually asked him about that meeting he said, he felt being bossed around while I thought I was playing a role of a humble host! Looks like while i was drooling over his looks and his communication he had used his professional expertise to evaluate the "interview" and come to a decision. After marriage I also came to know how naive I had been, I did no research about this guy, had no agenda to discuss during the one on one, I had just taken it by the moment. My husband on the other hand had googled about me, looked into my profile, read my blogs (thank god I had blogged and written some strong opinionated post back then) and had come prepared with his expectations from a better half. They left and before my dad could ask I told them I was 100% in and I also told them I am not sure about what the guy would say as I hardly did any talking! In an hours time we got a go ahead from them as well to have another meeting. The wait began and 15 days after the first meeting things got formalised and finally we exchanged numbers.

We started talking and it was mostly my husband who did all the talking, you see I was still in that medapu.. he looked much smarter than the photo :P We met first time alone on valentine's day, for all those who know me I really dont care for such things but destiny had other plans, today I look forward to that day like any other love stricken female, as it is the day we actually met. Again totally impressed with all the gifts he presented that day, he came over to my office with a bouquet of flowers which I blushingly accepted (u got it right blushing as he gave the flowers in front of my office reception and all the receptionist were totally giggling), got a teddy bear, some chocolates, a jewel set and a cute greeting card. Too impressed I was tongue tied that day and again he did all the talking. Today when you talk to him he will tell you those were the only two days in which he did all the talking and I the listening!

Days passed and it was soon the wedding weekend. I was going about getting ready like any other bride but deep down I was a total wretch, nervous, short tempered, anxious and what not! It is only during your wedding you understand the feelings a bride goes through especially the last night as a spinster which she spends in her place before going to the mandap. When I told him what I was going through.. he very simply said that he can promise me a happy, enjoyable life with a very loving and sweet family and that I could be what I want. It did little to cool my nervous back then but today when I look back 5 years ago it was a big thing to promise, especially when we hardly knew each other. I am grateful that for all my vices (though they are small yet many in number) he has held on to his word.. and gives the freedom to be what I choose to be..

What can I say but be grateful to that force for choosing a smart and cute life partner for me. To him all I can say is thank you for being there not just as a husband, but as friend, a critic, mentor, a sponsor, a boss, a mirror that reflects me to myself.. and most of all thank you for keeping that promise 5 years old!!!!

I wonder if he so vividly remembers that promise, but thanks to this post he would never ever forgot it in his life. Its not very easy to have me as a life partner as i am truly a bundle of assorted emotions and sarcastic comments are my way of life to take it all in the stride is what makes him so loving and sweet. Am off to celebrate my day and I will give you an update may be 5 years later of a promise 5 years old...

Is it worth all the energy...

At work I love to do a lot of talking, be it putting forth my ideas, debating about the rights and wrongs, explaining things, or just plain gossip and cribbing. I do all of it and I do it most of the time. Today was as usual at work, I had put forth my idea and it was shot down. I was asked to see the bigger picture. My first reaction was to crib. For the next hour or so, every human being that I met on the floor, I kept cribbing and went about telling how right I was and how wrong they were, my justifications were a lot and I was in a complete defensive mode (by the way thats my usual). Of course I did save my skin by putting a caveat to all those who care to listen 'may be they are right, but this is how i was taught to think, not sure what I am missing here'.

We went out for a team lunch and I got back home. With my defensive mode still "on", I took a phone call from my colleague at work, and he was one of those persons I had missed cribbing while at office. We discussed work and I started cribbing immediately, as I was talking I realised that I might have been on speaker (my boss's desk was just couple of desks away from this guy) and what if my boss was hearing the conversation!!?? At this thought the very tone of my conversation changed and I ended it on a positive note stating I was pleased with my role and felt it gave me a lot of scope to learn and grow. I am sure the guy was surprised with my sudden love towards the role. 

This incident kept lingering and got me thinking. Why all this cribbing? Why is the sudden change of tone at the thought that I might be heard by my boss? Why this facade? These questions kept haunting me.. and then I realised "what a disease, this cribbing is?". It gave me sense of being right and it helped my ego to remain intact. The right thing would have been to convince my boss about my idea without taking a "no" for an answer or to get convinced about the bigger picture he was referring to. These two options would have helped me gain out of the experience, instead I chose a lesser option of cribbing to satiate by ego. I realise that cribbing is nothing but an act of cowardice, the more I do the lesser I become, for all the opportunities to grow would be lost in the process.

So I told myself, the next time I catch myself cribbing, I will need to give myself a good shake and find a solution. Next time I hear someone cribbing, may be I will just let it be or may be I share this post and leave them with the thought.. "is it worth all the energy??!!!"

Between 10 and 11

Love you so much!

I have a few very good habits (along with lots of good habits) that I follow, thanks to the teaching of my Guru, one such habit is to read something positive before I sleep. Today started like just another day and after almost a week took December issue of infini thoughts to read. Opened a random page and guess what it was a page of spotting 11 differences. Unlike the picture in the previous issues this one seemed to be very hard, the two pictures had around 200 cars parked and we need to identify the differences. I had seen the picture earlier but did not give it shot as I was too impatient. Well today I seemed to be more poised (could be on account of eating my own cooking for a whole day :D) and started identifying differences. Whenever I get into this game of identifying differences I always follow a process, I have a plan, I start from right to left, bottom up.. first row no luck and second row onwards differences seemed to be pouring.  Now my mind was playing tricks with me.. it kept tempting me with random thoughts but somehow today I continued to focus. All I had to do was see the two pictures right till the end and eleven differences seemed no big deal. As I spotted the 10^th difference a very interesting thought came to my mind.

Isnt every aspect of life similar to what I had done now?

Mind being mind and mine being very impatient, it gave me a run of several instances, it was bursting with zillion thoughts. Isnt life all about staying in the moment, to focus one step at a time and hold on. Learning to ride a bike, put yourself through few months of training every day one at a time try to bridge the gap and a month later you are not a menace in the road. Learn to drive a car, learning a new language, picking up additional responsibilities, trying to solve an issue, entering a school, going to a college, stepping into the workplace, isn’t it all about putting yourself into the process in a planned manner and the process takes over and leads you to the destination. All I have to do is put myself through the process and everything is taken care. A child gets delivered when a woman puts herself through the process of pregnancy.

My guru always kept telling me focus on getting the process right results will happen. My husband kept telling me in the last few months enjoy the process as much as the result. This realisation dawned today between the 10^th and the 11^th difference.  Losing weight, becoming a marathon runner, cracking an exam.. guess it all boils down to getting a planned process in place and life will take over and carry me to the destination.

I have a world which hails number 11, with all these thoughts between the 10^th and 11^th difference, I cant agree more its all in the number!

I have a lot more very good habits to develop, looks like its time I come up with a planned process for each of them J.

tuff times

Anger is a negative emotion. Getting angry has hazardous effect on the body. Acids and chemicals form compounds which are detrimental to the body. This is the biological part of it. There is also an ego issue associated here, many a times ego is the reason for anger not the issue per say. In all these circumstances a little bit of understanding of the way the mind thinks will help in becoming normal.

 

It’s very simple every time you get angry on a person or when seeing a person causes some irritation or creates negative vibes… remember this ‘THE KEY FOR YOU GETTING ANGRY SHOULD BE WITH YOU AND NOT WITH THAT PERSON’.

You are in a very good mood doing your work and some interaction with “A” person spoils your mood or worse makes you angry remember the above sentence (it’s with a reason I have put it in bold capital letter).

Allow your ego to work here, let your ego ask you does this person have the power to spoil my mood.. just a little manipulation with the ego and peace is guaranteed .

Beware it’s like holding a two edged knife, if you don’t know to handle it you might perish with it. Give it a thought if ego is used rightly may be it will guarantee some peace to you and the environment around you.

Thanks to the “A” person I have vented out in this post and I will implement this the next time I meet the “A” . I sign off with a thought in my mind and heart, hoping.. ‘Tuff times don’t last put tuff people do’ (you know what I mean by times…)!!!

Putting up...

So crowded, so cramped, no space, no time.. thats how my head has been for sometime now. You become the environment you surround yourself with. Put up with it long enough and it becomes a part of you so much so that you feel a lot of discomfort when you let go of it.

I got a new slipper few months back, local brand (which means the rate sticker is stuck on the sole facing us and we invariably avoid to rip it off as our feet will anyway cover it). I continued using the slipper with the sticker on it and each time i wore it, it would prick and i would chose to ignore. This continued for a long time, the sticker poking and i choosing to ignore. (dont ask me why i did not chose to rip it off and save you from the agony and pleasure of reading this post!! :) ). Today after a month i removed the sticker and now the slipper no longer hurts.. but my mind which is so tuned to the discomfort is now not able to take the comfort even though it is good for me. It feels weird and distracted.

My office system has a mouse connected to it. Over the last six months the mouse is posssessed (thats how my collegues call it). It does not listen to  me.. if i want to open one file it will always chose to ignore me. I want to move a mail from inbox to a folder it always defies me by going into an unintended folder. Again not sure why.. i have put up with this mouse for the last six months. Today (the day for all realisations) i replaced it with another collegue's mouse and the result.. again it feels weird as there is no longer a war between the mouse and me.. it so willingly abides to my wishes.

In both the instances the only thought in my mind was i had put up with a wrong for a while and today the wrong has become a part of my life. Trying to let go and changing feels so different and uncomfortable.

So putting up with something (i am using the word in a negative connatation), putting up with something for sometime make it our second nature. However small be it, i will decide to respond to things rather than putting up with it.

Putting up indeed pulls you down!

Feb the 13th

The number 13 is generally considered inauspicious.

A year ago, this very day i got informally engaged to Kamal my husband. Ours is an arranged marriage, that happened after matching horoscopes and doing background checks. I had but met my husband only once before and we spoke hardly for half hour and we got engaged. Thats it!!! you might ask, heee thats it.....

Funny, most of the half hour went in introductions and getting to know each others background, schooling, likes/dislikes.. and phew.. both of us were happy to take the relationship to the next level. Today a year later when i sit back to wonder (dont ask me what my husband is doing while i find time to blog about our special day :| ) how it all happened.. i am still clueless. A year ago this day i was clueless of what to expect from this relationship that i was getting into and today i am clueless as to how i took such a clueless decision a year ago.

Do i what that day back to think differently??? definitely not. As a child i was a firm believer of arranged marriage, reason no exposure to love marriage. As i grew up i still held the belief close to my heart.. but some how few instances and few circumstances led me to think otherwise. It was a time when i was questioning the culture of arranged marriage (of course in mind). Questions like how would you know if this is the guy? how can a few meeting help me decide my life partner? how will i know if we both will get along together? the most dominant one of all was.. how will i know if i will come to love, respect and admire the guy? You might ask with so many questions why go for arranged marriage.. The answer though ego shattering is very simple i could not find the guy on whom i went head over heels!!!!

All the while the "elders" of the house kept telling me that there is nothing called made for each other in real world, there is nothing called love at first sight (given the kind of intellectual and analytical creature that i am, the possibility of this was very remote) no ready made formula to become the most loving and ideal couple. The younger couples (recently married/ committed ones) kept telling me that when you see the guy it just happens, you know that this is the guy for you... they made it sound very intuitive. If there is one thing that all these talks could do to me.. it made me more confused than ever. My questions starting with "HOW" only increased day by day.

Then the most obvious question in your mind is how did i say yes to Kamal. Did light burn, bell ring or one of that ballet background music surface as i met him.. what was the indication??? So here is how it goes, the photo that Kamal had shared with me before we met was not one of his best (though he thinks its good) seeing that photo and then seeing Kamal made a huge difference. He looked hundred times smarter than i had expected him to be, that was bails out!!! I hate when guys take sneak peeps at a girl.. Kamal looked at me only when we had direct conversations, otherwise his eye contact was only with the person he spoke (i seriously lost a stump for this..). When our half hour started we both started of with random topics and it seemed we had few things in common and one most important thing was GS and Bangalore (lost another stump... :D ). We met at the Parthsarathy temple, finally after we spoke and as we were coming in i could see aarthi being shown to the main God (so light did burn with him next to me) and when i stepped in the dhwajasthambam bell rang (bells did ring) and the final stump too had to falter and take the ground at this stroke and i lost the final stump.

So reading all this what do you understand??? Firstly you should realise that i have been forced to hear a lot of cricket.. sometimes it starts as early as morning six o clock and ends as late as night eleven o clock. Secondly some how what your better half likes does rub into you :D.

In this one year what is it that i have learnt about arranged and love marriage. Be it love or arranged.. marriage is coming together of two different personalities. Oooops got the text book definition, sorry guys will try again. Be it love or arranged marriage it takes two people to make it work. My guru had once said marriage is a life long journey of understanding, loving, knowing and discovering with two people and i cannot agree more. Whatever be the tag attached to the word marriage (love/arranged/forced) it is the thing, that makes two lives beautiful only until in agreement.

It is a beautiful celebration...13th Feb.. the most auspicious day of my life shall be.. !!

Diwali...

It is called ‘The festival of lights’. Just got curious around the origin of this festival and did some digging and found out that Diwali is celebrated on a new moon day. The word Deepavali in Sanskrit means row of lamps. These facts got me wondering, festival of lights during the winter on a new moon day with rains round the corner….

Recently I have been assigned to a project (which is a collection of problems) and my main job is to do a root cause analysis and understand the cause of the issues… Extending it further thought of doing some further analysis to get a wider picture a high level overview.. (Phew!!! So much of corporate language.. this is what happens if you blog after a reallllly long time). Jokes apart, did some browsing and here are some more tit bits (most of which you guys will be already aware of) about this festival:

It’s the day celebrated as Goddess Lakshmi’s birthday

It’s the day when Rama returned to Ayodhya after 14 years of exile

It’s the day when Narakasura (as the name suggests a bad guy) was killed by Lord Krishna and his wife Satyabhama and peace was established in the world

It’s the day when Krishna defeated Indra (remember the serial we used to see as kids in Doordarshan.. a small boy balancing the entire mountain in his little finger! Yup you got it right)

It’s the day when Pandavas returned after 13 years of exile

It’s the day when Lord Mahavira attained Nirvana

It’s the day when King Ashoka the great embraced Buddhism

It’s the day when Maharishi Dayananda, the founder of Arya Samaj attained Nirvana

The list goes on and on… looks like over the last several centuries, we have lots and lots of reasons to celebrate this day….

Can’t help but mention a line I read ‘while the story behind Deepavali varies from region to region the essence is the same, to rejoice in the Inner Light (Atma) or the underlying Reality of all things (Brahman)’

Quiet philosophical right!!!

Going back to the childhood days, I remember looking forward to this day only to wear the new clothes, eat yummy sweets and burst crackers not to mention the good cinemas you to get to watch in the TV (well today I can think of only one addition.. to this list.. a day off from work which means full day chit chatting with the family). But today after so many years, when I look back at the reason for celebrating this festivel.. just impressed as to how one day appeals to so many religions in so many different ways!

Diwali a day to celebrate greatness a day to be filled with positive energy and vibrance. This happens to be a very special Diwali for me... my first as a Mrs :) Looking forward to all the celebrations, sweets, movies, gifts and more importantly the wishes and blessings i will receive on this day!!!!

For many of you this is your first of its kind.. and for all others each time is as different as the first.. so

Happy Deepavali!!!

Wishing this Deepavali to be a landmark in each of your lives in the sweetest way possible,

moments to treasure

another cute poem adding to this treasure of mine... not my composition though..

If i could have just one wish,

I would wish to wake up everday

to the sounds of your breath on my neck,

the warmth of your lips on my cheek,

the feel of your heart beating with mine...

Knowing that I could never find that feeling

with anyone other than you..

in faith miracles happen...

26th Jan.. what is in it for you?

Holidays in the middle of the week is always a welcome as they make the week look really short. 

26th Jan seemed like just another day to me. Started the day like any other holiday.. lazing around.. reading books.. wasting time.. the only things i was looking forward was the catch up i would have with my friend.

I always look forward to these catch ups as these are times when we sit back to think.. from where to where and from here to where.. these are catch ups where we promise to each other that we will always be there for one another. Had a really good time it is always a treat to see your friends so happy and it was surely contagious :)

That night as i sat to reflect upon the happening of the day.. somewhere i realised it was the Republic Day. Lost in thought.....

As a kid i used to look forward to this day in so much of anticipation.. waiting to see the parade.. waiting to see different states being represented in different ways..  waiting to see the armed forces marching with immaculate perfection.. and it was always a tuff choice to make.. between the Delhi parade that would be live telecast in Doordarshan and the Chennai parade that happens few kms from my house. So much of wonder, so much of excitement.. and as the national anthem is played the pride that used to swell in my heart ( I still get inspired by our national anthem).. somewhere i realised i was losing it all..

Cant help but ask myself this question.. what did this day mean to me? Did it mean just another day off from work.. another day filled with special programs and special movies in the television? another day just to relax and recharge my system?

Well i wasnt thinking about the independence we got or the sacrifices made by our leaders and fellow citizens to get us that independence. I was just wondering where the excitement went.. pinning the national flag.. singing the national anthem.. standing there mesmerised as the tanks pass by.. trying to get the salute right.. wondering how President stood there giving the salute for such a long time.... :)

It is such a special day for this great nation and me born in this nation at one of its best era.. I dont have great things in mind yet.. but in my own small ways, i definitely think i can contribute... It is a day i believe to promise myself that someday i will make this country proud in my own small or big way i still dont know.. !!!!

travel opens.. mind and shows u a different perspective to life.. :)

lets keep it simple!

Not a stone unturned. You tried your best.. and possibly a little more.

I am sure all of you would have gone through such moments. You know you want it and you believe thats the right thing to happen.. and you do everything within your control to make it possible. But somehow things don't happen the way you desire. They say when you want something very badly.. thats when he plays with you.. and he tests your patience. your tolerance..

During all such times all you can do is to sigh helplessly and wonder what is he preparing me for.. what does he want me to understand.. what has he in store for me.. what is it he wants me to look that i am overlooking.. where is it that i need to bring in those corrections or adjustments.. questions pop up... what are the signs that he is showing that am not seeing.. possibly he wants me to develop acceptance.. possibly he wants me to fight harder.. for the harder you fight the more you cherish and the more meaningful your victory becomes. Does he want it my way? or does he want it his way? Should i accept and give in? or should i be more stubborn and more rigid? What is it that i want? and at what cost do i want it? what is the "trade off" am willing to pay.. accept...

I cant help but wonder at the design of life.. it creates in you a strong desire and makes you feel you are in control of your life.. yet there is a twist and it also shows you how helpless you are in fulfilling that desire. Hee!! my friend says its all about choices and what you are willing to trade off.. So true cant help but agree she has a point.. but somehow i am fascinated by this paradox of desiring yet not being able to get it...

Possibly this intellectual mind of mine cant comprehend or understand the logic behind the whole thing.. but from somewhere deep within a voice whispers.. "charavati  charavati" (keep going keep going) and the heart cries "lets see how the game goes!"

"little hearts"

They walk into your life as you step into a new world. A world of knowledge and wisdom.

You start as cry mates, crying all the while.

You never know when this bond becomes that of laughing.

Soon you find yourself in each others company crying out of laughter.

Then comes a time.. i call it the cribbing time.. anything and everything about the world you crib.

You feel why the world around you is so dumb.. not accepting your opinions not understanding your view points..

During all those times the bond becomes that of a supporting pillar.

Slowly you start appreciating and seeing the beauty around you.. during all those times they become your sight seeing buddy..

During time of need they become the shoulder you lean on..

Slowly.. gently.. even without your knowledge.. they creep so much into your heart..

That one fine day you understand somehow..somewhere this bond has become so much a part of you..

That you no longer think of them as apart from you..

here i go again !! :)

hee hee guys!! based on the overwhelming response for my first telugu attempt..here goes another one..

This will go way beyond your expectations!! So fasten ur seat belts and here i go..

Imagine a scenario.... everybody but you have work in office, people who rarely work also seem to be occupied or posing to be occupied with work. All phone lines are busy.... when you are vetti the whole world seems to be busy!! Out of one such vetti hour.. one more jewel has been added to this precious treasure of mine :)

Kit kat thinandi break velandi..

Manishulu busy andi.. 

Wait cheyadam thappadhandi..

Andukenandi calendar blocking antaru..

Meeting requests pamputaru..

Meru cheppandi time undhandi..

Antha scene enduku le andi..

Meru chala busy andi..

Kaani hardly working andi.

So appudappudu work thappadhandi..

Bye andi

Cheppandi

Deal a no deal andi??.. :D

This is written in a language called 'andi language' that has its script borrowed from telugu.

My first attempt..

My first attempt... yahoo my first attempt.. guys you might like it.. if not ensure u love it.. heee heee you dont have a choice..

For those who dont understand.. sorry guys cant help it.. the whole fun will be lost if i translate it for you.. the idea was to make this my first attempt..

So here it goes.. my first attempt in my mathrubhasha.. my mother tongue.. a language thats very personal and close to my heart.. a language i first spoke as a child...

enjoy!!!

Sneham ki artham nuvve..
Pranamlo kalisipoyina swasam nuvve..
Kanti reppala  kalalo undedhi nuvve..
Na sarvasvam nuvve..
Etu chusina nee bhimbham..
Etu vellina nee rupam..
Etu vethikina dorakaledu nuvvu..
Na Gundelo daachukunnavu..

The essence is.. God you are the epitome of friendship, dissolved in my heart like the air that passes into me, protecting me the way eye lids protect the eyes, you are my everything. You seem to be there everywhere outside me. Yet the search outside is still on.. while you secretly rest within my heart.

Guys you got to accept now... that i am a telugu girl after all!!! :)

Closing Ceremony

Never felt more patriotic about my country ... proud to be an India.. what a ceremony.. world class.. or should i say India redefined....

So electrifying.. scintillating.. so much of energy. mind blowing.. pulse accelerating.. thats how the closing ceremony of the common wealth games concluded..

Bravo Delhi!! Bravo India!! Proud of my country!!!

Existential timing

Just a run through of few years in my life..

Cleared my twelth standard exams with good marks and decided to take up Chartered Accountancy. Dad insisted on me going to college. Given that i did my schooling in a Christian institute the obvious choice was Stella.. but things did not work out the way we wanted and i ended up in Ethiraj evening college.. I did not like it as none of my school friends joined along with me.. Little did i know when i stepped into the college i will find a treasure which i will cherish for my lifetime.. Got a very very sweet friend who is today my best best friend.. :)

Joined CA and after lots and lots of debate joined articleship in my uncle's firm. My first job and it meant a lot to me.. with lots of questions i walked into the office. Little did i know when i stepped into that office i will find another sweet cute friend who is today another best friend of mine.. :)

Cleared CA got placed through campus placements in an MNC in Bangalore.. relocated for the job. Dont ask me how the first few months were.. away from home i was totally messed up.. New place, new office, no friends, no known faces.. nobody to talk to.. it was very difficult. But as time passed and i looked around... i realized i was surrounded by friends. Be it my roomie..or my team mate.. or buddy.. or my crazy sindhi friend... :) Little did i know when i stepped into blr that i will find such lovely friends and a sweet buddy.. :)

Two years in blr.. lots of activities happening in life.. decided to relocate back to Chennai. Started looking out for a job seriously and landed with one in no time. In the process found a different friend... again little did i know what was in store for me when i relocated back.. :)

Four months in the city.. a question of relocation came up again... few learning experiences.. few tough decisions had to be taken.. little did i  know the bigger picture... Life continued....
Subject plus a project of Alma Mater is something i always wanted to be a part of, this year got a chance to participate in it... and I finished it successfully.. in process i understood there is always a bigger picture in life...

Today as i was sitting in the concluding session of subject plus.. with masterminds no longer compulsory.. i was stumped by yet another twist.. This is the first mm that is not mandatory after subject plus.. and i am skipping it.. :) timing thats all i can say..

So many times i have been told about fate.. about destiny.. about a divine plan that guides us through.. Never have i realised its presence in my life to such a great degeree.. i can go on and on with so many "little did i know when i stepped in" experiences in my life.

Just looking back at all those moments in life.. in each disappointment.. or should i say in each change or each transition i have found someone special walking into my life.. so many of these people, i know will remain with me for a long long time...or should i say a lifetime.. :) i have to wait and see.. but experiencing them has been a wonderful wonderful experience.. these are people outside the family yet they all seem so much a part of the family..  :D

Love you guys!!

Sunday is coming... why dont you take a few mins off.. press the rewind button and look at all your blessings... which have come into your life...invariably you will be in awe at the perfect timing..

i call it existential timing.. !!!