Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Putting up...

So crowded, so cramped, no space, no time.. thats how my head has been for sometime now. You become the environment you surround yourself with. Put up with it long enough and it becomes a part of you so much so that you feel a lot of discomfort when you let go of it.

I got a new slipper few months back, local brand (which means the rate sticker is stuck on the sole facing us and we invariably avoid to rip it off as our feet will anyway cover it). I continued using the slipper with the sticker on it and each time i wore it, it would prick and i would chose to ignore. This continued for a long time, the sticker poking and i choosing to ignore. (dont ask me why i did not chose to rip it off and save you from the agony and pleasure of reading this post!! :) ). Today after a month i removed the sticker and now the slipper no longer hurts.. but my mind which is so tuned to the discomfort is now not able to take the comfort even though it is good for me. It feels weird and distracted.

My office system has a mouse connected to it. Over the last six months the mouse is posssessed (thats how my collegues call it). It does not listen to  me.. if i want to open one file it will always chose to ignore me. I want to move a mail from inbox to a folder it always defies me by going into an unintended folder. Again not sure why.. i have put up with this mouse for the last six months. Today (the day for all realisations) i replaced it with another collegue's mouse and the result.. again it feels weird as there is no longer a war between the mouse and me.. it so willingly abides to my wishes.

In both the instances the only thought in my mind was i had put up with a wrong for a while and today the wrong has become a part of my life. Trying to let go and changing feels so different and uncomfortable.

So putting up with something (i am using the word in a negative connatation), putting up with something for sometime make it our second nature. However small be it, i will decide to respond to things rather than putting up with it.

Putting up indeed pulls you down!