Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Between 10 and 11

Love you so much!

I have a few very good habits (along with lots of good habits) that I follow, thanks to the teaching of my Guru, one such habit is to read something positive before I sleep. Today started like just another day and after almost a week took December issue of infini thoughts to read. Opened a random page and guess what it was a page of spotting 11 differences. Unlike the picture in the previous issues this one seemed to be very hard, the two pictures had around 200 cars parked and we need to identify the differences. I had seen the picture earlier but did not give it shot as I was too impatient. Well today I seemed to be more poised (could be on account of eating my own cooking for a whole day :D) and started identifying differences. Whenever I get into this game of identifying differences I always follow a process, I have a plan, I start from right to left, bottom up.. first row no luck and second row onwards differences seemed to be pouring.  Now my mind was playing tricks with me.. it kept tempting me with random thoughts but somehow today I continued to focus. All I had to do was see the two pictures right till the end and eleven differences seemed no big deal. As I spotted the 10th difference a very interesting thought came to my mind.

Isnt every aspect of life similar to what I had done now?

Mind being mind and mine being very impatient, it gave me a run of several instances, it was bursting with zillion thoughts. Isnt life all about staying in the moment, to focus one step at a time and hold on. Learning to ride a bike, put yourself through few months of training every day one at a time try to bridge the gap and a month later you are not a menace in the road. Learn to drive a car, learning a new language, picking up additional responsibilities, trying to solve an issue, entering a school, going to a college, stepping into the workplace, isn’t it all about putting yourself into the process in a planned manner and the process takes over and leads you to the destination. All I have to do is put myself through the process and everything is taken care. A child gets delivered when a woman puts herself through the process of pregnancy.

My guru always kept telling me focus on getting the process right results will happen. My husband kept telling me in the last few months enjoy the process as much as the result. This realisation dawned today between the 10th and the 11th difference.  Losing weight, becoming a marathon runner, cracking an exam.. guess it all boils down to getting a planned process in place and life will take over and carry me to the destination.

I have a world which hails number 11, with all these thoughts between the 10th and 11th difference, I cant agree more its all in the number!

I have a lot more very good habits to develop, looks like its time I come up with a planned process for each of them J.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

tuff times

Anger is a negative emotion. Getting angry has hazardous effect on the body. Acids and chemicals form compounds which are detrimental to the body. This is the biological part of it. There is also an ego issue associated here, many a times ego is the reason for anger not the issue per say. In all these circumstances a little bit of understanding of the way the mind thinks will help in becoming normal.
It’s very simple every time you get angry on a person or when seeing a person causes some irritation or creates negative vibes… remember this ‘THE KEY FOR YOU GETTING ANGRY SHOULD BE WITH YOU AND NOT WITH THAT PERSON’.

You are in a very good mood doing your work and some interaction with “A” person spoils your mood or worse makes you angry remember the above sentence (it’s with a reason I have put it in bold capital letter).

Allow your ego to work here, let your ego ask you does this person have the power to spoil my mood.. just a little manipulation with the ego and peace is guaranteed .

Beware it’s like holding a two edged knife, if you don’t know to handle it you might perish with it. Give it a thought if ego is used rightly may be it will guarantee some peace to you and the environment around you.

Thanks to the “A” person I have vented out in this post and I will implement this the next time I meet the “A” . I sign off with a thought in my mind and heart, hoping.. ‘Tuff times don’t last put tuff people do’ (you know what I mean by times…)!!!

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Putting up...

So crowded, so cramped, no space, no time.. thats how my head has been for sometime now. You become the environment you surround yourself with. Put up with it long enough and it becomes a part of you so much so that you feel a lot of discomfort when you let go of it.

I got a new slipper few months back, local brand (which means the rate sticker is stuck on the sole facing us and we invariably avoid to rip it off as our feet will anyway cover it). I continued using the slipper with the sticker on it and each time i wore it, it would prick and i would chose to ignore. This continued for a long time, the sticker poking and i choosing to ignore. (dont ask me why i did not chose to rip it off and save you from the agony and pleasure of reading this post!! :) ). Today after a month i removed the sticker and now the slipper no longer hurts.. but my mind which is so tuned to the discomfort is now not able to take the comfort even though it is good for me. It feels weird and distracted.

My office system has a mouse connected to it. Over the last six months the mouse is posssessed (thats how my collegues call it). It does not listen to  me.. if i want to open one file it will always chose to ignore me. I want to move a mail from inbox to a folder it always defies me by going into an unintended folder. Again not sure why.. i have put up with this mouse for the last six months. Today (the day for all realisations) i replaced it with another collegue's mouse and the result.. again it feels weird as there is no longer a war between the mouse and me.. it so willingly abides to my wishes.

In both the instances the only thought in my mind was i had put up with a wrong for a while and today the wrong has become a part of my life. Trying to let go and changing feels so different and uncomfortable.

So putting up with something (i am using the word in a negative connatation), putting up with something for sometime make it our second nature. However small be it, i will decide to respond to things rather than putting up with it.

Putting up indeed pulls you down!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Feb the 13th

The number 13 is generally considered inauspicious.

A year ago, this very day i got informally engaged to Kamal my husband. Ours is an arranged marriage, that happened after matching horoscopes and doing background checks. I had but met my husband only once before and we spoke hardly for half hour and we got engaged. Thats it!!! you might ask, heee thats it.....

Funny, most of the half hour went in introductions and getting to know each others background, schooling, likes/dislikes.. and phew.. both of us were happy to take the relationship to the next level. Today a year later when i sit back to wonder (dont ask me what my husband is doing while i find time to blog about our special day :| ) how it all happened.. i am still clueless. A year ago this day i was clueless of what to expect from this relationship that i was getting into and today i am clueless as to how i took such a clueless decision a year ago.

Do i what that day back to think differently??? definitely not. As a child i was a firm believer of arranged marriage, reason no exposure to love marriage. As i grew up i still held the belief close to my heart.. but some how few instances and few circumstances led me to think otherwise. It was a time when i was questioning the culture of arranged marriage (of course in mind). Questions like how would you know if this is the guy? how can a few meeting help me decide my life partner? how will i know if we both will get along together? the most dominant one of all was.. how will i know if i will come to love, respect and admire the guy? You might ask with so many questions why go for arranged marriage.. The answer though ego shattering is very simple i could not find the guy on whom i went head over heels!!!!

All the while the "elders" of the house kept telling me that there is nothing called made for each other in real world, there is nothing called love at first sight (given the kind of intellectual and analytical creature that i am, the possibility of this was very remote) no ready made formula to become the most loving and ideal couple. The younger couples (recently married/ committed ones) kept telling me that when you see the guy it just happens, you know that this is the guy for you... they made it sound very intuitive. If there is one thing that all these talks could do to me.. it made me more confused than ever. My questions starting with "HOW" only increased day by day.

Then the most obvious question in your mind is how did i say yes to Kamal. Did light burn, bell ring or one of that ballet background music surface as i met him.. what was the indication??? So here is how it goes, the photo that Kamal had shared with me before we met was not one of his best (though he thinks its good) seeing that photo and then seeing Kamal made a huge difference. He looked hundred times smarter than i had expected him to be, that was bails out!!! I hate when guys take sneak peeps at a girl.. Kamal looked at me only when we had direct conversations, otherwise his eye contact was only with the person he spoke (i seriously lost a stump for this..). When our half hour started we both started of with random topics and it seemed we had few things in common and one most important thing was GS and Bangalore (lost another stump... :D ). We met at the Parthsarathy temple, finally after we spoke and as we were coming in i could see aarthi being shown to the main God (so light did burn with him next to me) and when i stepped in the dhwajasthambam bell rang (bells did ring) and the final stump too had to falter and take the ground at this stroke and i lost the final stump.

So reading all this what do you understand??? Firstly you should realise that i have been forced to hear a lot of cricket.. sometimes it starts as early as morning six o clock and ends as late as night eleven o clock. Secondly some how what your better half likes does rub into you :D.

In this one year what is it that i have learnt about arranged and love marriage. Be it love or arranged.. marriage is coming together of two different personalities. Oooops got the text book definition, sorry guys will try again. Be it love or arranged marriage it takes two people to make it work. My guru had once said marriage is a life long journey of understanding, loving, knowing and discovering with two people and i cannot agree more. Whatever be the tag attached to the word marriage (love/arranged/forced) it is the thing, that makes two lives beautiful only until in agreement.

It is a beautiful celebration...13th Feb.. the most auspicious day of my life shall be.. !!