Monday, February 13, 2012

Feb the 13th

The number 13 is generally considered inauspicious.

A year ago, this very day i got informally engaged to Kamal my husband. Ours is an arranged marriage, that happened after matching horoscopes and doing background checks. I had but met my husband only once before and we spoke hardly for half hour and we got engaged. Thats it!!! you might ask, heee thats it.....

Funny, most of the half hour went in introductions and getting to know each others background, schooling, likes/dislikes.. and phew.. both of us were happy to take the relationship to the next level. Today a year later when i sit back to wonder (dont ask me what my husband is doing while i find time to blog about our special day :| ) how it all happened.. i am still clueless. A year ago this day i was clueless of what to expect from this relationship that i was getting into and today i am clueless as to how i took such a clueless decision a year ago.

Do i what that day back to think differently??? definitely not. As a child i was a firm believer of arranged marriage, reason no exposure to love marriage. As i grew up i still held the belief close to my heart.. but some how few instances and few circumstances led me to think otherwise. It was a time when i was questioning the culture of arranged marriage (of course in mind). Questions like how would you know if this is the guy? how can a few meeting help me decide my life partner? how will i know if we both will get along together? the most dominant one of all was.. how will i know if i will come to love, respect and admire the guy? You might ask with so many questions why go for arranged marriage.. The answer though ego shattering is very simple i could not find the guy on whom i went head over heels!!!!

All the while the "elders" of the house kept telling me that there is nothing called made for each other in real world, there is nothing called love at first sight (given the kind of intellectual and analytical creature that i am, the possibility of this was very remote) no ready made formula to become the most loving and ideal couple. The younger couples (recently married/ committed ones) kept telling me that when you see the guy it just happens, you know that this is the guy for you... they made it sound very intuitive. If there is one thing that all these talks could do to me.. it made me more confused than ever. My questions starting with "HOW" only increased day by day.

Then the most obvious question in your mind is how did i say yes to Kamal. Did light burn, bell ring or one of that ballet background music surface as i met him.. what was the indication??? So here is how it goes, the photo that Kamal had shared with me before we met was not one of his best (though he thinks its good) seeing that photo and then seeing Kamal made a huge difference. He looked hundred times smarter than i had expected him to be, that was bails out!!! I hate when guys take sneak peeps at a girl.. Kamal looked at me only when we had direct conversations, otherwise his eye contact was only with the person he spoke (i seriously lost a stump for this..). When our half hour started we both started of with random topics and it seemed we had few things in common and one most important thing was GS and Bangalore (lost another stump... :D ). We met at the Parthsarathy temple, finally after we spoke and as we were coming in i could see aarthi being shown to the main God (so light did burn with him next to me) and when i stepped in the dhwajasthambam bell rang (bells did ring) and the final stump too had to falter and take the ground at this stroke and i lost the final stump.

So reading all this what do you understand??? Firstly you should realise that i have been forced to hear a lot of cricket.. sometimes it starts as early as morning six o clock and ends as late as night eleven o clock. Secondly some how what your better half likes does rub into you :D.

In this one year what is it that i have learnt about arranged and love marriage. Be it love or arranged.. marriage is coming together of two different personalities. Oooops got the text book definition, sorry guys will try again. Be it love or arranged marriage it takes two people to make it work. My guru had once said marriage is a life long journey of understanding, loving, knowing and discovering with two people and i cannot agree more. Whatever be the tag attached to the word marriage (love/arranged/forced) it is the thing, that makes two lives beautiful only until in agreement.

It is a beautiful celebration...13th Feb.. the most auspicious day of my life shall be.. !!